keep it simple

home.

admittedly, i don’t always stick to my plan, as you can tell by my lack of posts since starting this blog. it’s been awhile, but to be fair, i’ve been pretty good about sticking to my new years resolutions of shooting at least a roll of film each month, committing to my health and staying in shape, accepting as many auditions as my schedule allows, and traveling more.

besides the point of what i was wanting to get to or what’s been on my mind this week. this year has felt pivotal to me. my time feels more important than ever, and i’m realizing how i want intention behind how i choose to spend my time and who i will allow into my life. i’m beginning to understand who i really am, where i am in my life, and there’s been a strong and humble acceptance of it. what’s important to me is becoming glaringly obvious, and i’m starting to appreciate my day-to-day. 

i spend a lot of time thinking about my career as it affects me the most today and my future. i’m often asking myself if i want a new job, if i want more responsibilities and new challenges, and if i want to make more than i do now. the answer to that is an obvious ‘yes,’ but why? if i make $250k or $300k will i finally be happier? i know what added stress would come with a new job and promotion, the sacrifices i’d have to eventually make. i could very well be wrong, but it doesn’t matter. what matters most is knowing i’m happy with where my life is now. i feel comfortable being as honest as i’ve been with myself with so many things.

it was the moment i found myself standing in silence in my doorway, after a week spent in france with friends, that i have everything i need and that i like my quiet little life. is life perfect? no, but that’s okay. my life is simple, i enjoy ordinary things, and i want to fill my life with experiences and stories, not materialistic things. 

i like experiencing new things - doesn’t really matter what it is. i was in france for the first time, so that on its own was plenty for me. ahead of the trip, i got to try and learn a new language and quickly learned how difficult french is to learn, especially pronunciation. i learned how to properly taste and enjoy wine in the loire valley, and better appreciate why certain wines may be paired with certain plates. the last few days in paris trying new dishes made me want to return just for the food. i got to spend quality one-on-one time with my best friend’s partner, which was quite a special and intimate way to better understand them as a whole and as individuals. i also got to connect with a couple others who i didn’t know that well at first and who probably don’t know they really made my trip better than i make it out to be. as much as i love to pop in and out of shops, i learned that’s really only true for local stores while getting to see different neighborhoods and the personality they bring to the city or country. 

i shot three rolls of portra 400 on my france trip - two on the fe2 and one on the half frame camera (pen ee-2). i shy away from being in front of the camera, but i did ask for one photo of myself, so i hope that comes out okay. 

i think moving forward, i’ll build the courage to share all my crappy film photos with you.